Dont be afraid to catch feels
When people feel so self-conscious and anxious that they can’t talk or socialize most of the time, the cause is likely to be more than shyness. It may be an anxiety disorder called social phobia (also known as social anxiety).
People with social phobia often interpret these sensations and emotions in a way that leads them to avoid the situation («Oh, no, my heart is beating too fast, this must be very dangerous; I’d better avoid it»). Another person may interpret the same physical sensations in a different way («Wow. My heart is beating so fast. I’m getting nervous because it’s almost my turn to speak. It always happens to me. But it’s okay.»).
In social phobia, ideas and fears about what others think are exaggerated in the person’s mind. The person begins to focus on the embarrassing things that might happen instead of thinking about the positive things. This makes the situation seem much worse than it is, and also makes the person tend to avoid it.
People with illness anxiety disorder are overly focused and always thinking about their physical health. They have an unrealistic fear of having or developing a serious illness. This disorder occurs equally in men and women. The way people with illness anxiety disorder think about their physical symptoms may make them more likely to have this condition. As they focus on and worry about physical sensations, a cycle of symptoms and worry begins, which can be difficult to stop. It is important to realize that people with illness anxiety disorder do not intentionally create these symptoms. They are unable to control the symptoms. People who have a history of physical or sexual abuse are more likely to have illness anxiety disorder. But this does not mean that everyone with this disorder has a history of abuse. Symptoms
American Psychiatric Association. Illness anxiety disorder. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. 5th ed. 5th ed. Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Publishing, 2013:315-318.Gerstenblith TA, Kontos N. Somatic symptom disorders. In: Stern TA, Fava M, Wilens TE, Rosenbaum JF, eds. Massachusetts General Hospital Comprehensive Clinical Psychiatry. 2nd ed. Philadelphia, PA: Elsevier; 2016:chap 24.
Of course, suffering for love is nothing new. And having certain reticence after going through a painful experience is also normal. But philophobia is a recent term, which -at least for now- does not appear in diagnostic manuals for psychologists, and which is used to describe the kind of situation that «interferes significantly in the life of the person, who, however much he or she may want to, is unable to forge deep bonds with others with whom he or she could have a sentimental relationship». This is explained by psychologist Jonathan García-Allen, director of communication of the website Psicología y Mente.
These problems are «linked to an emotional blockage due to the person’s insecurities,» says psychologist Ciara Molina, author of books such as Emociones expresadas, emociones superadas (2013) and Crea la vida que deseas (2018). These are insecurities that stem from bad past experiences, their own or those of their close environment. The interpretation of those feelings makes the mind consider the link with another person as a «danger».
Fear of falling in love
I think personally I have to overcome what keeps me from trying, whenever things want to be serious or I feel that person has feelings for me, I panic thinking that he/she might like me in a real way, does anyone have any advice?
Look my advice is that you are still young don’t rush if you are not interested don’t force yourself to follow the tide, everyone develops in their own time, at your age I wasn’t interested in love either to be honest I couldn’t explain what I felt about it because I didn’t feel anything.
I would say that you should deeply self analyze yourself, in my case I discovered that I have certain traumas that prevented me from moving, I also thought I was asexual but you would be surprised what fear can do, that non interest was on purpose made by my subconscious to take care of my biggest fears and not to repeat traumas, love makes you vulnerable and in my case I did not receive the love I wanted from my parents, they are not bad but in the affective aspect they are not the best. I have a lot of emotional baggage with them that made me have many insecurities that I didn’t know I had until I analyzed myself nor did I know that it hurt me how my parents treated me in my childhood and that this had such an impact, so first give it a chance before jumping to hasty conclusions.